Henry Clay Work: Verses about Husband

Now Moses, what makes you so strange and forgetful?
How is it you heed what I tell you no more?
Just look at your picture -- who would not be fretful?
Your great muddy boots on my clean kitchen floor.
And there you are smoking -- Oh dear, 'tis provoking!
To tease and torment me it is your desire;
I'll throw your old-- no sir! indeed I'm not joking --
I'll throw your old meerschaum right into the fire!

Now Moses, you'll catch it! Now Moses, don't touch it!
Now Moses, don't you hear what I say? (don't you hear it?)
'Tis thus without stopping, the music keeps dropping,
For night after night, and for day after day.

Now Moses, do tell me now what are you doing
Off there in the pantry so still and so sly?
I know very well there is some mischief brewing --
Ha! that's what you're after, a whole cherry pie,
Stop! stop! you are taking the last of my baking,
The very last pie that was left on the shelf;
If ever one did, you deserve a good shaking,
And I've a great notion to try it myself.

Now Moses, come let us be pleasant and clever!
We must not in future lead such a sad life;
Come, you be my dear noble husband forever,
And I'll be forever your sweet loving wife.
Of course, some supposes that life is all roses,
But really I think that -- well now I declare!
You rascal! you villain! you stupid thing, Moses!
You laid your old currycomb right in my chair!

To his home, his once white, once lov'd cottage,
Late at night, a poor inebriate came;
To his wife, the waiting wife and daughter
Who for him had fann'd the midnight flame.
Rudely met, they answer'd him with kindness --
Gave him all their own untasted store;
'Twas but small, and he with awful curses,
Spurn'd the gift, and drove them from the door.

While the storm, the wild wild wintry tempest,
Swept across the prairies cold and white;

What a shame that Lillie and her mother
Were abroad on such a fearful night!

Far across the prairie stood a dwelling,
Where from harm they oft had found retreat;
Thither now, all brave and uncomplaining,
Did they urge their weary, wayworn feet.
But their strength, unequal to their courage,
Fail'd them as they wander'd to and fro;
Till at last, the feeble, fainting mother,
Speechless sank upon the drifted snow.

Lillie prays -- the harps are hush'd in Heaven --
Angels poise them midway in the sky;
Up from earth there comes a wail of sorrow,
Such a wail as must be heard on High.
"Father dear! my other, better Father!
Won't you hear your daughter Lillie pray?
Won't you send some strong and careful angel,
Who will help my mother on her way?"

Morning dawns -- the husband and the father,
Sober'd now, to seek his flock has come;
Lillie dear is living, but her mother --
Hours ago, an angel bore her home.
Ah, poor man! how bitter is his anguish,
As he now repents his punish'd sins,
Bending o'er the child, who, half unconscious,
Sadly cries, "Please father, let us in!"

"Launching our from the ship--
ha, ha! courtship--
Oh the misty matrimonial sea,
Let the cable hang lightly,
but tie the knot tightly."
So the hoary sailors tell me.
As we are just launching our nuptial canoes,
Enroute for some haven, we know not what,
Old mariner' views
'twere wrong to refuse;
So oblige us with a workmanlike knot.

And tie the knot tightly, good pastor!
Invent one that will not come loose;
For tho' sad, it is true that people slip thro',
Or squirm and wriggle out of the noose.
"To love and to cherish"
"We will!" they reply.
"Till vital pow'rs perish"
"Of course, or course;
Until we di-- until we di--
Until we divorce."

With that ever firm cord--
ha, ha! concord--
We may reckon on a tie that will last
Till the joys and the sorrows
of earthly tomorrows
Lie forgotten in the grave of the Past.
But we are not convicts, so spare us that joke
Of "welding the chain while the iron is hot;"
And we are not oxen; so make us no yoke;
Just a good and honest old fashioned knot.

If there must be a lock--
ha, ha! wedlock--
Hang the key up where it will not found;
Yet be sure and not loose it,
we may want to use it
When our jolly golden wedding comes round.
Tho's here's a stray husband, and ther's a stray wife,
Who once just as fondly combined their lot,
Determin'd are we on union for life,
And we want at least a fifty-year knot.

I must lay off my hood--ha,ha! girlhood--
As I robe me in my bridal array;
I'm a little bit frightened!
my features thus whitened,
Pearly powder I'll dispense with today.
Yet, why should I tremble! He suits, to a T;
And I, so he tells me, suit him to a dot.
So, now, as you see our notions agree,
We will that you for a true-lover's knot.

On attaining this age--ha, ha! marriage--
Single blessedness! I bid thee adieu;
While dividing each trouble,
my joys I shall double
If the half of what he tells me is true.
Though men are uncertain, take men as they go,
I'm bent on retaining the one I've got:
There's a proverb, you know--"two strings to one beau;"
So, suppose we try a double beau-knot!